Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
