recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just want to make out with him forever
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I could fuck to npr.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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