ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
