Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
