we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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