At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
