Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i can run in heels then i can drive
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
