You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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