alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize