You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
