Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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