when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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