How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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