i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
