FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
