? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
