i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
