dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize