ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
