she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize