right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
