Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
