watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
