Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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