i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
