I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize