rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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