Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
thus making me awesome and them whores
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
