with your own penis?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
