You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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