Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
