I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
