zippers are such a cool invention
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize