I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
