i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
