I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize