We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
