My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
