so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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