"it" just moved
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
