So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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