Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
