office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
