whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
