At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So much rum. So many feels.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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