Me too!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
