i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
