Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The beer is more important than you right now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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