You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
