I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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