you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
