I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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