Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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