just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
