I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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