so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize