my sisters under your porch take her home
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
