need another drink. this is the easiest way
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
