maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
