Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
