so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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