I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
