Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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