I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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