The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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