if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
