everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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