I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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