I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
