Kiss
Puke
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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